Be honest – all this talk about money management and taking care of your personal finances may be boring you a little. Time to shake off the serious banter for some fun in the pun this International Jokes Day.
That’s why we’ve decided to add some humor to our regular financial repository with some of the best money jokes out there just for you.
Get funny with money
1. Money talks… but all mine ever says is good-bye.
2. The best way to save money is… to forget who you borrowed it from.
3. The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money.
4. I need a new bank account. This one has run out of money.
5. I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.
6. You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there’s no real difference between me and George Clooney.
7. I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work.
8. Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn’t expect to be paid back.
9. A man who needs legal help goes to a lawyer’s office. After being escorted inside, he sits across the desk from the lawyer. The man needs legal help, but he wants to make sure he can afford it first.
“Can you tell me how much you charge?” he asks.
“Of course,” the lawyer replies, “I charge $800 to answer three questions.”
“Don’t you think that’s an awful lot of money to answer three questions?”
“Yes it is”, answers the lawyer, “What’s your third question?”
10. I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. An old man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over.
11. My bank loves me. They told me my credit card balance is outstanding.
12. Whoever thinks money can’t buy happiness, transfer it to my account.
13. Nothing says’ I love my dog’ quite like spending more money on his haircut than you do your own.
14. College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.
15. If you want to become rich, you should keep your mouth shut. Why? Because silence is golden.
16. What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? February 14th.
17. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of credit card payments.
18. What’s another name for long term investment?
A failed short term investment!
19. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year.
20. I now know why I used to love Christmas as a child. I did not have to pay for the gifts!
Happy International Jokes Day!