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The holiday season is a time steeped in tradition, and for generations, those traditions have largely revolved around family. But in recent years, a beautiful new tradition has emerged and taken root in American culture: “Friendsmas.” It’s a celebration of the family we choose, a recognition that our friends are often the people who get us through our toughest days and celebrate our biggest wins. A Friendsmas gathering—whether it’s a cozy dinner, a raucous party, or a simple gift exchange—is a wonderful way to honor these vital relationships. But it also adds a new and often stressful layer of financial pressure to an already expensive time of year. Here’s your ultimate playbook for a Friendsmas on a budget, one that will strengthen your friendships, not your credit card balance. Here’s what you need to know!
Between buying gifts for your family, traveling home, and attending other holiday events, the added expectation of a full-blown Christmas celebration with your friends can feel overwhelming. However, you can absolutely create a joyful, memorable, and incredibly fun Christmas celebration with your friends without breaking the bank.
Part I: The “Friend Group” Financial Huddle – Having the Talk
This is, without a doubt, the most important and most often-skipped step in planning a successful Friendsmas. Before you do anything else, you must have an open and honest conversation about money with your friend group.
The Most Important Conversation of the Season
The single biggest source of holiday stress among friends is unspoken financial expectations. We make assumptions. We assume that everyone is in the same financial situation, has the same budget, and is comfortable with the same level of spending. This is rarely the case. In any group of friends, there will be individuals with varying incomes, different levels of debt, and distinct financial priorities. When these things go unspoken, it leads to awkwardness, resentment, and overspending.
To avoid all of this, one person needs to be the brave one. One person needs to initiate the “Let’s Talk About It” moment. Before the season kicks into high gear, send a low-pressure, guilt-free message to your group chat. The key is to frame it in a positive and inclusive manner. You could say something like:
“Hey, everyone! I am so excited to plan our annual Friendsmas celebration this year. To make sure it’s super fun and totally stress-free for everyone, I was thinking we could come up with a game plan for gifts and parties together. What’s everyone’s budget looking like this year? No pressure at all, just want to make sure we plan something that works for everybody!”
This opens the door for an honest conversation. It creates a safe space for people to voice their financial realities without fear of judgment. You will likely be met with a wave of relief from your friends who were feeling the same pressure but were afraid to speak up.
Co-Creating Your “Friendsmas” Budget
Once you have opened the lines of communication, the next step is to co-create your group’s “Friendsmas” budget. This isn’t your personal budget; this is your group’s social contract for the season. It’s a shared agreement that will eliminate all the guesswork and anxiety.
As a group, you should agree on a few key things.
- First, if you plan to do a gift exchange, you must set a firm spending limit. It should be a number that is comfortable for the person with the tightest budget in your group. A limit of $25 or $30 is often a great sweet spot.
- Second, if you plan to host a party or a group dinner, consider how you will handle the associated costs. Will it be a potluck? Will everyone chip in a set amount for groceries?
- Third, if you plan to participate in any group activities or outings, such as attending a concert or holiday market, be transparent about the potential costs so that everyone can decide if they can participate.
By creating this shared agreement upfront, you ensure that everyone is on the same page. It removes the pressure, eliminates the awkwardness, and sets the stage for a celebration that is genuinely fun for everyone involved.
Part II: Reimagining “Friendsmas” Gifting – More Meaning, Less Money
The heart of Friendsmas is showing your appreciation for your friends, and that has nothing to do with the price tag of a gift. This year, it’s time to get creative and reimagine your approach to gift-giving.
The “Secret Santa,” Reimagined
The standard Secret Santa exchange, where everyone draws one name and buys a gift for that person, is a great way to save money. However, you can make it even more personal, fun, and budget-friendly by adding a creative twist.
- The “Favorite Things” Exchange: This is a fantastic and increasingly popular alternative to a traditional gift exchange. The rules are simple. Everyone brings three of their absolute favorite inexpensive item, with a spending limit of around $10 per item. For example, your favorite item might be a specific brand of luxurious hand lotion, a gourmet chocolate bar you are obsessed with, or your go-to pair of cozy, fuzzy socks.
You wrap each of the three items individually. At the party, you go around the circle, and each person shares their “favorite thing” and explains why they love it so much. Then, everyone leaves with three new, personally recommended items to try. It’s an incredibly fun and personal way to exchange gifts, and you get to learn something new about your friends’ tastes. - The “Thrift Store” White Elephant: A traditional White Elephant exchange can sometimes lead people to buy new, generic gifts just to participate in the game. The “Thrift Store” version is all about humor and creativity, not value. The rule is that all gifts must be found at a thrift store for under $10. The goal is to find the most bizarre, hilarious, or wonderfully weird item you can. This version of the game focuses on laughter and shared experiences, and the “gifts” often become legendary inside jokes that last for years to come.
The “No-Gifts, Just Presence” Pact
For a truly stress-free and deeply meaningful holiday, consider forgoing physical gifts altogether. The most valuable thing you can give your friends is your time and your undivided attention.
The plan is simple: you and your friend group agree to a “no-gifts” pact for the year. Instead, you take the money that each of you would have spent on individual gifts (for example, $25 per person) and you pool it into a collective “Friendsmas Experience Fund.” This fund can then be used to pay for a much more memorable shared experience that you can all enjoy together.
You could use the money to rent a cozy cabin for a weekend getaway, to buy tickets to a concert or a play that you all want to see, or to pay for a fancy group dinner at a restaurant you’ve all been wanting to try. The memories you create during a shared experience will last far longer than any physical gift.
Part III: The Budget-Friendly “Friendsmas” Feast – Better Than a Restaurant
Sharing a meal is a cornerstone of any Friendsmas celebration. Here’s how to create a delicious and abundant feast without placing the financial burden on one person.
The “Next-Level” Potluck
The problem with a casual potluck is that it lacks structure. If you tell your friends to “bring a dish,” you risk ending up with five bags of chips, two tubs of hummus, and no main course. The solution is the “Next-Level,” structured potluck.
The host provides the venue and may offer one main dish, such as a large pot of chili or baked ziti. Then, you create a shared Google Sheet or use a free potluck planning app where your guests can sign up for a specific category. The categories could be Appetizer, Main Side Dish (such as a pasta salad or roasted vegetables), Green Salad, Dessert, or Drinks. This simple system ensures that you have a full, balanced, and delicious meal. It also prevents duplicate dishes and makes it easy for everyone to contribute in a meaningful way.
The “Make-It-Together” Meal
An even more interactive and fun approach is to turn the meal preparation into the main event itself. Instead of having everyone arrive at a finished dinner party, you are all creating the dinner party together. This is a fantastic way to bond and create a shared sense of accomplishment.
There are countless themes you can choose for a “make-it-together” meal. You could host a “Taco Tuesday” Friendsmas, where one person brings the ground beef, another brings the tortillas, a third brings the shredded cheese, and so on. You all chop the toppings and assemble your tacos. Alternatively, you could host a “Holiday Pizza Party,” where you provide the dough and sauce, and everyone brings their favorite toppings to share.
One of the best ideas is a “Holiday Cookie Bake-Off.” For this event, everyone brings the ingredients for their favorite holiday cookie recipe. You spend the afternoon baking together, listening to holiday music, and enjoying each other’s company. At the end of the day, everyone gets to take home a beautiful mixed box of all the different cookies you made. It’s a party, a gift exchange, and a delicious treat all in one.
Part IV: Creating Memories, Not Bills – Unforgettable Group Activities
The best Friendsmas celebrations are often the ones that have nothing to do with food or gifts at all. They are about creating shared memories.
The “Volunteer Together” Day
There is no better way to connect with your friends and get into the true spirit of the holiday season than by giving back to your community together. As a group, sign up for a volunteer shift at a local food bank, an animal shelter, a soup kitchen, or a holiday toy drive. The shared experience of working together for a good cause is an incredibly powerful bonding activity. It costs nothing, and it will leave you all with a profound sense of connection and purpose.
The “Holiday Movie Marathon” Throwdown
This is a simple, cozy, and completely free activity that is perfect for a cold December night. Have everyone in your friend group nominate their number one, must-watch holiday movie. Put all the nominations into a poll in your group chat. Then, host a movie marathon where you watch the top two or three winning films. Make it a cozy event with a strict “pajamas and blankets” dress code, and provide plenty of popcorn.
The “Neighborhood Lights” Grand Tour
Every town in America has at least one neighborhood that goes all-out with its holiday light displays. Bundle up, make a big thermos of hot cocoa or spiced cider, and spend an evening walking or driving through the most festive neighborhoods in your area. You can even turn it into a game by creating a “scavenger hunt” list of things to find, like an inflatable snowman, blue icicle lights, a plastic reindeer on a roof, or a house that is timed to music. It’s a wonderful, festive, and completely free way to spend an evening together.
How Beem Helps You Coordinate Your “Friendsmas”
A smart financial app is the perfect tool for managing the shared finances of a “Friendsmas” celebration. It can eliminate awkwardness, ensure fairness, and provide a safety net. Beem is an all-in-one financial platform with features that are perfectly suited for planning a group celebration.
- Effortless Cost-Splitting: Beem is the ultimate tool for a “Friendsmas” celebration. If you decide to host a potluck, you can use Beem to easily split the cost of the main ingredients among a few friends. If you create a “Friendsmas Experience Fund,” your friends can send their contributions directly to you through the app. It eliminates the awkwardness of IOUs, the hassle of chasing people for cash, and the confusion of multiple payment apps.
- A Shared “Friendsmas” Budget: For a larger group activity, like renting a cabin, you can use Beem’s Budget Planner to create a shared budget for the trip. You can track all shared expenses in one place, allowing everyone to see exactly how the group’s funds are being spent in real-time, thereby providing transparency and trust.
- A Safety Net for Individuals: The holidays can be a financially tight time, and you never want a friend to feel like they have to miss out on a group activity because they are a little short on cash. Beem’s Everdraft™ feature can provide a responsible, interest-free cash cushion for qualified members. It’s a discreet and dignified way for a friend to handle a short-term cash flow issue, ensuring that no one gets left out of the celebration.
Conclusion (Friendsmas on a Budget)
A memorable and affordable “Friendsmas” is built on a foundation of open communication, creative gift-giving, and a focus on creating shared experiences. It’s about consciously deciding as a group to prioritize your connection with each other over the commercial pressures of the season. By taking the financial pressure out of your celebrations with friends, you can focus on what truly matters: strengthening your bonds, creating lasting memories, and celebrating the joy of the family you choose.
For any financial aid, you can check out Beem, a smart wallet app trusted by over 5 million Americans with features from cash advances to help with budgeting and tax calculations. In addition, Beem’s Everdraft™ lets you withdraw up to $1,000 instantly and with no checks. Download the app here.
